Our feelings are functional.
Many of us avoid emotions because they don’t always feel pleasant and they can be overwhelming. But the truth is that emotions are meant to provide us with information about our values, boundaries, and health. For examples:
If you were to lose a close loved one, what feeling would you expect to feel?
And what does that feeling tell you about the nature of that relationship?
If you go to your job and feel angry and disempowered every day, what do you think this feeling is trying to tell you?
If you start feeling nauseous and worried every morning as you get ready for work, what do you think those feelings are trying to tell you about your mental health/physical health?
If you have been in a committed relationship for a few years and you find yourself feeling connected and energized whenever you think about that person, what do you think those feelings are trying to tell you?
How might these feelings help you set preferred boundaries with your partner?
Emotions also communicate our needs to other people without using language. For examples:
When you see someone else crying, what do you feel pulled to do?
When you see someone else screaming with rage, what do you feel pulled to do?
When you see someone else running as fast as they can and looks over their shoulder, what do you feel pulled to do?
Feelings helped us survive as a species.
Without our emotions, we would be missing out on a huge chunk of information meant to (1) keep us safe and (2) help us live full and interesting lives. Really, it is all about the balance - using our thoughts and our feelings together to guide decisions.
Your challenge:
Next time you feel an emotion that you don’t enjoy, try to be curious about what that feeling wants to communicate to you. You don’t have to run from it. Breath deeply and know that any pain or discomfort associated with the feeling will pass with time. In the end, you will be left with a greater understanding of yourself and a renewed sense of strength.
Thanks for tuning into this Tackett Tip!
Dr. Tackett