Just a heads up, changing behaviors or making new habits involves setbacks. The transtheoretical stages of change model is a psychological model that is evidence based and well-regarded by the scientific community. This model includes relapse as part of the change process. Meaning - it is completely normal for old behaviors and habits to creep back in after making changes in your life.
Here are the stages that occur when making changes:
1) pre contemplation - no interest in changing behavior
2) contemplation - awareness of problem but no specific plan to make changes
3) preparation - planning and having intention to make changes
4) action - doing things differently, usually with a plan
5) maintenance- new behavior replaces old behavior in a consistent way
6) Lapse - fall back into old patterns, old behaviors re-emerge
7) REPEAT all stages
If we forget or ignore the normalcy of taking steps backward in the change process, it becomes so easy to experience shame or self-judgment. The question: “why don’t I have any self control” is a frequent phrase I hear in therapy. In reality, relapse is not due to lacking self-control. Relapse is about learning something new and gaining experience. Lasting behavior change takes a lot of practice.
As you practice new ways of being, the change cycles usually get shorter and more efficient. But you might also find major sticky points that you weren’t expecting (i.e., more opportunity for growth). Each restart of the change cycle offers new learning opportunities that will keep you in maintenance in the long term.
Tackett Tip: LAPSES ARE NORMAL. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.
- Dr. Tackett